Baldur’s Gate 3has been out for a couple of weeks now, except it hasn’t. In my world, it’s not out for another two weeks. It launched onPCa month before coming to console, a highly unusual situation. Games have had staggered releases like this before, but they’re usually significantly further apart. Plus, console usually gets them first, as is the case for former PS exclusives likeSpider-ManandGod of War, but also cross-platform games that needed fine tuning before a PC launch likeRed Dead Redemption 2.

I don’t play games on my PC. I have a gaming laptop that can run most things pretty well, but I generally think of PCs as magic typewriters that also show naked pictures of consenting adults. I like to play games on my sofa, on my big TV, and thus consoles have always been the way to go. I’m lucky enough to have aSwitch,Xbox Series, andPS5, so I never miss out… until now.

Baldur’s Gate 3 Karlach with her eyes obscured by her hat

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It’s not just that Baldur’s Gate 3 is a big, popular game and I can’t wait to play it. It’s that I didn’t expect it to bethispopular. Reviews in the high 80s and some nerds like me saying it’s a real neat way to playDungeons & Dragons- that’s what I braced for when the PC launch happened. I could have waited out for a neat D&D console game, I already have Divinity anyway. Instead it landed at 97 (subject to change as more people review it thanks to a horribly short weekend of lead time) and is being talked about as not only a Game of the Year, but a Game of the Decade.

Just over two months afterZeldareleased a game we thought would never be beaten, Baldur’s Gate 3 has beaten it. This would conjure a smug smirk onmy Zelda-immune facewere it not for the fact I’m locked out of paradise. It’s like I’m grounded, staring out of the window at the other kids playing, knowing I can’t join them until my sentence is up.

A tiefling player tricking Lady Esther with the owlbear egg in Baldur’s Gate 3.

I shouldn’t complain, really. Whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve lived through some gaming droughts. We like to convince ourselves that every shipped game is a miracle and every year is the best year ever, but there have been some down seasons. This year, triple-A titles are back with a vengeance, and they aren’t slowing down. In truth, Baldur’s Gate 3 in early September might be the perfect time for me - if it wasn’t for the fact everyone else is already playing it.

The rhythm for games that I care about from August onwards is pretty good. I was on vacation when Baldur’s Gate 3 dropped on PC, and I’m off to Gamescom in a week, so my playthrough would have been stop-start anyway. When I’m back, I’ll squeeze inGoodbye Volcano Highbefore shipping up to Baldur’s. I’m less into Starfield, so BG3 has a clear run until EA Sports FC, then I’ve got time to bounce between them untilDetective Pikachu Returns. By the time I beat that, bring onMarioandSpider-Man, then there’s a month and a bit to fit in Starfield and check out any short indies I’ve missed for the year.

Headshot of Gale the Wizard in Baldur’s Gate 3

It’s perfect, or at least it would be if you weren’t all playing Baldur’s Gate 3 already. Waiting for a game to launch brings us all together - we’re wrapped up in the anticipation as one. But this split release, the PC version running scared of Starfield yet releasing with numerous bugs and with zero time afforded to reviewers because the game wasn’t ready until the buzzer went off, almost pits both sides against each other. Look at me, I hate PC gamers now.

I know purists will say CRPGs are PC games at heart and shouldn’t be played on console anyway. Purists also like racial segregation, so we shouldn’t pay them much attention. I’ve always thought of PCs as magic typewriters that also show naked pictures of consenting adults. Now I know they’re magic typewriters that show naked pictures of consenting adults and also taunt me about Baldur’s Gate 3. Roll on September when we end this reign of tyranny.

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