Summary
I love New York City. I first came here for college and I’ve spent most of my adult life here, occasionally moving to another city for work before inevitably coming back for other work. As someone who hates the idea of owning a car, New York City’s public transit system is a godsend. Well, not a godsend. It kind of sucks half the time. Maybe it’s just a neutral send. But living in a place where I can see some of the greatest works of art, eat some of the greatest food, and see some of the greatest performances in one day is incredible.
Not that I do those things. New York is expensive, buddy. I haven’t seen a greatest work of art in years, and as far as great food, I’m mostly excited there’s a Pizza Hut opening near me. I don’t care if you judge me. I’m paid for this article no matter what. I’m not even paid by the word - this is all me taking up space for me. I like New York City pizza. I also like garbage corporate pizza. Pizza is a lot like sex: even when it’s bad, I wish I had more garlic and marinara sauce.
Meanwhile, I’ve lived in the same apartment in New York City for a few years now. Part of the reason is because it’s conveniently located near different jobs I’ve had over the years. The other reason is that it’s a bug-filled, no-sunlight corner cave where I basically live as an anchorite - that is, very cheap for its size and location. Entire relationships in this city have risen and fallen based on not wanting to give up a decent rent.
So when I first loadedSpider-Man 2and finished its tutorials, I knew I was heading for straight one place: the block where I live. Yes, rather than organically finding my way there through a series of quests and missions, I just booked it across the river. Sure, I stopped a few crimes and took a photo of people playing frisbee on a skyscraper - because, you know, collectibles - but what I wanted to see was my apartment in Marvel’s Big Apple! My home in Spider-Man 2!
And it’s not there. Again.
Itispossible forsome New Yorkers to find their apartments in Spider-Man, if they’re lucky enough. Just don’t ask them to explain what makes a bodega so special.
You see, in the first Spider-Man game for PlayStation 4, I did the same thing. I was like, “Buddy! We’re in New York! What could be more interesting than spending thirty minutes finding a place that you could see by walking outside right now?” But I was horrified to find that my block was skipped. It’s not the wrong block. It’s just not there at all. The streets in the game skip numbers. Entire blocks are missing. Thousands of lives erased like Thanos’ snap. I knew that I wouldn’t see a 1:1 version of New York. I knew some things would be truncated and shrunk down. But I never knew that the truncation would come forme, the person who matters most to me.
So when thatPlayStation 5came whirling around, I thought, ‘okay, this time’. I didn’t expect theMiles Moralesgame to fix it right away; I understood this was a sequel that heavily relied on the first game’s assets and architecture. But we all knew Spider-Man 2 was an all-new title coming and with it all the power of the PlayStation 5. We were told by many men wearing ill-fitting jackets over t-shirts that Spider-Man 2 was going to be a technological marvel. They were adding entirely new boroughs to the game! Peter and Miles’ world was expanding. Anything was possible now.
Except it still doesn’t have my goddamn street. This has nothing to do with my view of the game or the gameplay. I find that all great. Story. Swinging. Fighting. Great. Done. No notes. A+. 10/10. But how dare you,Insomniac, leave out my apartment building? How dare you cost me the narcissistic, borderline unhealthy pleasure of having Spider-Man stand outside an apartment building that would theoretically have me inside playing Spider-Manmakinghim stand outside? Why would you do this to me, the main character of reality and the only buyer of this game who has any inherent value?
I respect the thousands of reasons that Insomniac made this choice. It would be needlessly complicated and probably less fun to portray a completely geographically correct New York City. And trying to stay loyal to the comics sometimes means there are necessary changes that have to be made to reflect the fictional version of New York that Marvel fans are used to. There is just no way that every person who lives in New York is going to get to see their own little slice of life on that screen.
But I believe in you,Spider-Man. Why can’t you believe in me? I believe in you!I literally wrote a comic that you were in. And, no, I didn’t think to have him visit my apartment building because I’ve got more self-respect than that. Plus they probably would’ve said no and I didn’t want them to be mad at me. I wanted them to like me so, so much. Really, a lot of my life choices are based on hoping someone doesn’t get mad at me.
There’s something ridiculous about expecting perfect accuracy in a game. Perfect accuracy usually isn’t fun. There’s a reason that city-building gamesaren’t littered with massive parking lots. It looks depressing as hell. Having hundreds of extra narrow, confusing blocks would not improve chases or the view. Sure, Spider-Man swinging across a realistic New York would be cool. But I know Insomniac was only doing what it thought was best for the game. And going by both my and everyone else’s reactions, what it thought was best for the game was, in fact, best for the game.
I just wish I could be a whiny baby and have Mr. Spider-Man swing by where I live. I’d say “swing past my window,” but my window faces a narrow brick wall that Spider-Man probably couldn’t access without taking a lot of time out of his day.
Next:Can We Talk About All The Spider-Man 2 Sequel Teases Yet?
